If you have ever lost a significant amount of weight, you may know about the food pushers.  Those people who say, “You’re so thin; you have to eat!” or “Just try one bite of this.  One little bite won’t hurt.”

Just like the food pushers, there are the money pushers, as I call them.  Do any of these sayings sound familiar:

-“Just go out for one night and have fun; it is not good to never spend money.”

-“It is a buyer’s market. You should get in now while the rates are low.”

-“Go ahead and treat yourself; you work so hard!”

My husband and I live in a two bedroom apartment; we have lived in this building for 10 years, and yes, it is a bit depressing to think of all the money we have paid in rent, and we have nothing to show for it.  We now have three kids, and the apartment is cramped.  It is not impossible to live in, but it is cramped.  All of us would like more room to stretch out, but as our budget reflects, we are in NO condition to buy a house now.

My husband and I are both in our late thirties, and it seems to bother people that we have not bought a house yet.   (Truth be told, it bothers me a bit.  I thought we would have a house by now.)  However, neither one of us wants to jump into the housing market unprepared.  In the last few years too many people have lost homes in part because they weren’t truly prepared financially for owning a home.

My husband and I are in complete agreement on this issue, yet still, many people have urged us to buy a house, prepared or not.  These are the money pushers.  They WANT us to buy a house, and they express that want frequently. 

Why do they care what we do?  I have reflected on this a great deal.

Money pushers want:

1.)    To take care of you.  They want good things for you—new furniture when you move into your first place, a big screen tv, etc. even if you can’t afford them.  They want you to be comfortable.

2.)    To confirm their own lifestyle.  If you too buy like they do, they won’t feel guilty about the money they are spending.

3.)    To live vicariously through you.  Some of the people who ask us about buying a home want to experience, through us, the process of looking for and purchasing a home.  Yes, it can be exciting to look at new houses, all of the different layouts, amenities and locations, but we consider it frightening to do any of that before we are financially ready.

Understanding the money pushers can help you not only resist their demands, but also keep from getting irritated.  They do, afterall, want what’s best for you, even if their definition of what is best is different from yours.