I Gave Up Sugar. . .Again

I’ve given up sugar. . .again, . . .and forever.  And I’m really happy about it!

A Long, Dark History with Sugar

Here’s the thing–I’ve been a sugar addict since my teenage years.

Right after my dad died, my good friend and I started eating sweets in secret.  We would drive to a bakery after school that had a luscious dessert–a Mounds cake.  This was a chocolate cake, with thick whip cream in the center and chocolate icing over the entire thing.  We knew that every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, they made Mounds, and we would show up every one of those days.

We would also go to her house on the other days and make brownies from scratch, but we never would bake them.  We’d just sit in her bedroom eating the batter raw.  After a few months, I had gained quite a bit of weight, but she hadn’t.  I found out she was bulimic.

Even after that friendship ended, my love affair with sweets continued.  I ate sweets every day, but I ate A LOT of sweets when I was stressed.  My first semester at college, I was unhappy and exhausted.  The last few weeks of the term, I ate four candy bars a day.

I could go on and on about my sugar addiction, but I think you get the idea of how severe it is.

Giving Up Sugar

When I started having serious digestive issues, which I later found out were related to mold exposure, I found that the Paleo diet was the only eating style I could handle.  Of course, you’re not supposed to eat sugar on Paleo, and I dropped the pounds like crazy.

I got down to 141 pounds, and then I decided I’d be okay to eat a little bit of sugar.  My weight crept up month by month until I was almost the weight I was when I started Paleo.

A few years later, I went Paleo again, lost a tremendous amount of weight, and then decided I could eat a little sugar only to gain all of the weight back.

I can’t eat a little sugar!

After my foot surgery a few years ago, I was down to 136 pounds.  And I started eating sugar.  Over the next 18 months, I gained all of my weight back and more.

I started Weight Watchers this February, but I’ve never been able to stick to plan because I eat so much sugar.  However, from February to June, I’ve only yo-yoed three pounds, which is a huge accomplishment.  Before February, I was gaining four to six pounds a month!

The Final Straw

I thought last summer that I should quit sugar, but I just couldn’t do it.

A few weeks ago I found a yummy recipe for healthier Paleo brownies.  I made them, and let me tell you, they brought me right back to my best friend’s bedroom when I was 15 eating brownie batter in the center of her bedroom floor.  I told myself that I’d only eat one brownie a day, but they call to me all.day.long!

I literally was haunted by these brownies in the freezer.  Seriously, I have more things to use my mental energy on that trying to fight off the urge to eat brownies.

I’ve given up sugar before, and I know that after I get done with the withdrawal phase, I just.don’t.miss.the.sugar.  I don’t have to struggle like I do when I try to eat sugar in moderation.

And that was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.  I turned 48 this year, and I don’t want to spend all of my life fighting the sugar demon because it’s a battle I can’t win–unless I walk away from the fight all together.

I don’t intend to ever eat sugar again, just like an alcoholic never consumes alcohol again.

Can you eat sugar in moderation, or are you addicted as I am?