Within a marriage, there are many potential financial landmines, so to speak.

Two of the biggest ones are:

-secretly running up debt and hiding purchases

-having vastly different money styles, i.e., one is a saver and one is a spender

My husband and I don’t have those two big issues, thankfully, but we do have another financial issue.

I handle the finances including making the budget, paying bills, finding money to snowflake, and monitoring our debt repayment.  I am the one who stresses when there isn’t enough money to cover basic expenses or when our emergency fund dips precariously low.   I am also the one who does most of our household spending such as buying groceries, clothes, and gas.  My husband doesn’t spend much at all, which makes my job a bit easier.

However, one thing that drives me crazy is that whenever I express concerns about our finances, my husband simply says, “Don’t worry; things will work out.”

I know they will work out eventually.  Eventually we will be out of debt; eventually he will have a permanent research job; eventually the kids will all be in school so I can do my work full-time.  I am not worried about eventually; I am worried about now, and unfortunately, hearing, “Don’t worry; things will work out” drives me crazy.

Anyone here with me?  Anyone experience the same issue?

I had to laugh when someone at Daily Worth, a community of woman who talk about money, asked the question, “Should He Be as Worried as I Am?” written by a woman just like me who handles the finances and has a carefree boyfriend who tells her not to worry, that things will turn out just fine.  I could completely relate.

Whenever I get frustrated that my husband is so carefree and unconcerned with our finances, I think two things.  First, I am glad that he isn’t a spender and is an optimist.  Second, I think of the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where money is tight and Ray complains to Debra about her money management skills.  She gets mad and has Ray pay the bills for a month.  He, in turn, messes up the checkbook so badly that he has to create a second, fake, check registry to make it look like he is doing just fine.  Debra is impressed–until the lights go out because he hasn’t paid the electric bill.  Do you remember that episode?

Perhaps men and women are just hardwired differently to deal with money, or maybe it just comes down to who is the financial geek in your family.

What are your thoughts?  Do you and your spouse differ significantly about how you perceive money?

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